I'm going to tell you a story about my brother trying to cook and eat me.
It all started one day when my mother and father were out and our nanny was supposed to be looking after us but she had fallen asleep, my big brother James had decided that he wanted to cook the family's meal, so while I was sleeping he picked me up and put me in a large frying full of warm water, he pulled some spices out of the cupboard and dumped the spices on me then turned on the element and waited for the water to boil.
He had fallen asleep and I had woken up and started screaming for my mother, while I was screaming I noticed my sneaky brother slink off and left me boiling. When our nanny finally got to me she yanked me out of the pot ripping the skin off the bottom of my bum.
After all this my brother and I were never allowed at home alone again